


Road Trip Blues

by tlakht



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Misunderstandings, Road Trip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-06
Updated: 2019-09-06
Packaged: 2020-10-11 04:49:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20540378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tlakht/pseuds/tlakht
Summary: Written for a tumblr trope prompt (misunderstandings + road trip).Excerpt:As always, Dean didn’t look—except out of the corner of his eye—when he noticed Cas doing it again in the passenger seat: turning away from Dean, as if that somehow could prevent Dean from seeing that he was snapping a selfie before sitting down and fiddling with his phone—sending the picture to someone?—and smiling to himself. Even without looking directly at him, Dean could tell it was the kind of smile that Dean had previously been the only one to put on Cas’s face.Dean tried to think of any other explanation. Anything else at all Cas could be doing except the one thing Dean could think of. The one thing he desperately didn’t want to be true. The one thing he had hoped, if it was true, Cas would have stopped doing once they went on this road trip that was meant to put the spark back in their relationship.





	Road Trip Blues

Dean had hoped that a road trip would help. Lately, Cas had been… not distant, exactly. He was still affectionate when he was actually paying attention to Dean. But there was something off, something… Dean didn’t want to call it “suspicious”, because he didn’t want to be that guy who didn’t trust his partner, but… well. This behaviour had been going on for months now.

Apparently even a road trip, with just the two of them visiting the romantic spots Dean had memorised over years of travelling the country by car, wasn’t enough to get Cas to stop.

As always, Dean didn’t look—except out of the corner of his eye—when he noticed Cas doing it again in the passenger seat: turning away from Dean, as if that somehow could prevent Dean from seeing that he was snapping a selfie before sitting down and fiddling with his phone—sending the picture to someone?—and smiling to himself. Even without looking directly at him, Dean could tell it was the kind of smile that Dean had previously been the only one to put on Cas’s face.

Dean tried to think of any other explanation. Anything else at all Cas could be doing except the one thing Dean could think of. The one thing he desperately didn’t want to be true. The one thing he had hoped, if it _was_ true, Cas would have stopped doing once they went on this road trip that was meant to put the spark back in their relationship.

Not that Dean felt he needed a spark, personally; he was content with the mellow, domestic quality their relationship had taken on over the years. He’d thought Cas was, as well, but he supposed when you’d lived for millennia and seen everything the world had to offer, domesticity didn’t have much to offer in comparison.

When he thought about it, it had been stupid to assume that a being who’d had the ability to fly most of his life could ever truly settle down. Cas had always kept disappearing back when he still had his wings; it was probably only the lack of them that had kept him in one place for so long now. No wonder Cas was getting restless.

At night, in the hotels—actual hotels for once, and relatively nice ones at that—Cas was as affectionate as always. Maybe even more, snuggling up to Dean in bed and holding him, when he’d usually be reading a book.

Dean had read something about that somewhere. Some people who cheated would act more affectionate toward their partners, to avoid suspicion. Dean wanted to believe this wasn’t about that, but the painful knot in his stomach told him otherwise, and every night he’d end up turning away from Cas. He ignored the way it only made Cas hold him even tighter.

The Hells Canyon was beautiful, bathed in the pink-orangey hue from the sunset. They were sitting on an honest-to-god picnic blanket Dean had bought specially for this trip, and maybe it was something about the serenity of the place, or maybe it was the way Cas’s hand found its way to Dean’s, but in that moment Dean felt like maybe everything was all right after all. Like maybe he was imagining things.

Dean let his eyes glide over the vista in front of them, lingering on the luminous, golden clouds above where the sun was setting behind the mountains, before he turned back to Cas, smiling. His smile quickly faded when he saw Cas lower the phone from where he’d taken another selfie, and he felt like someone had deposited a heavy rock in his chest.

“Can I see?” he asked, not really wanting to.

“See what?”

“The photo you just took.”

Part of Dean was still hoping there might be another reason for all the pictures. For the way Cas would always smile at his phone afterwards.

“I didn’t take a photo.”

Dean looked away from Cas, and the scenery turned blurred and watery in front of him. “‘Kay. My mistake.”

Dean didn’t really notice driving to the hotel; he did it as if on auto-pilot.

“Are you okay?” Cas asked, a hand on Dean’s back as they sat on the edge of the bed.

Dean blinked a couple of times. This was it. This was the moment they’d reached the inevitable end. “I don’t know if I can do this anymore.”

Cas didn’t respond for a moment. His voice was quiet when he finally spoke again. “Do you mean the road trip?”

Dean wanted to say _Yes._ Wanted to say _I take it back, I didn’t mean it_. What he said was, “This. Us. I can’t pretend anymore. I can't…” His voice broke, putting an end to a sentence he hadn’t known how to finish anyway.

Cas’s voice had taken on a tremulous quality when he spoke again. “I see.”

_I see._ Dean felt something inside of him break loose. He wanted to shake Cas, wanted to force a real, goddamn reaction out of him. Their relationship of four years was ending, and that was all he had to say? _I see_, and then silence? No _Why, Dean?_. No _We can fix it_.

Maybe Cas was relieved.

“Shall I get another room?”

Dean’s shoulders slumped. Whatever resistance he’d hoped for from Cas, he wasn’t getting it.

“Maybe you should.”

Cas stood up and walked over to the door in silence. He paused at the door for a long while and then finally turned to look back at Dean. “Dean,” he said, his voice pained, and a faint hope fluttered in Dean’s chest; maybe he’d at least get something more out of Cas than the reaction he’d gotten. Maybe their relationship had been worth more to him than just an _I see_ and an offer to sleep in separate rooms.

“What, Cas?”

“May I ask…” Cas held Dean’s gaze for a moment before his eyes flickered to the floor. “Never mind. You’ve made up your mind. It’s not my place to…”

“Of course it’s your place,” Dean interrupted. He should have known this was the reason for Cas’s silence—that he thought he wouldn’t be honouring Dean’s decision if he questioned it. “We’ve been together for four years. You have every right to ask.”

“Then… why? Do you not love me anymore?”

Dean’s laugh came out more as a sob, or maybe it was the other way around. He wiped a stray tear from his cheek with the palm of his hand. “’Course I do, Cas. I just…” He searched for words that wouldn’t come, about how he loved Cas too much to be able to share him with someone else. How he couldn’t bear knowing that he wasn’t enough for Cas.

“I know about the photos,” was what he ended up saying.

The look of distress on Cas’s face was almost enough to make Dean change his mind about his decision. He’d always hated seeing Cas sad, and he’d never seen him look as devastated as this.

“Oh, Dean. I’m sorry.” Cas’s voice was thick with emotion. “I didn’t know you would be so against it.”

Once again, Dean’s incredulous laugh came out remarkably sob-like. “What, you thought I was just going to be fine with it? With you finding someone else, sending them selfies all the time while you’re spending time with me?”

The plagued look on Cas’s face morphed into something different—into a look of confusion, eyebrows drawn together.

“Finding someone else? Dean, I…” Cas interrupted himself and pulled his phone out of his pocket, then strode over to Dean. “Look at my photos,” he implored. “Please.”

Dean hesitantly accepted the phone, not sure what was going on. Hands shaking from the emotions of the last few minutes, he opened the gallery app… and was faced with the photo Cas had taken at Hells Canyon. In the foreground was Cas, yes… but Dean was also in the picture. And in Cas’s hand, that he held up close to Dean’s shoulder, was a note that said MARRY ME?

A breathless sigh of awe escaped Dean as his stomach flooded with warmth, and he swiped to the next picture. It was taken inside Baby, and once again Cas was in the foreground, Dean in the background, and Cas was holding up that same note. The next picture was much the same, as was the one after that and the one after that.

“Jesus,” Dean whispered, tears in his eyes again, for a different reason this time. “I’m such an idiot.”

“Perhaps,” Cas allowed, a wobbly smile playing around his mouth—the kind of smile that came from being comforted after crying. “But I was hoping you might want to be my idiot?” He reached inside his trenchcoat pocket and pulled out a small, black box.

Cas didn’t even get to open the box before he had his answer, eager and unequivocal, and with a brand new ring on Dean’s finger they kissed until there were no more insecurities and doubts between them.

**Author's Note:**

> [Rebloggable version on tumblr](https://tlakhtwritesdestiel.tumblr.com/post/187282658815)


End file.
